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no rest for the weary

Whew. Where to begin…??? The past week has been a series of “downs” with few ups to keep our spirits high. Gray honestly didn’t get too sick with his last round of chemo. The nurses were really good about making sure he had medicine to keep him from feeling nauseous and it worked for the most part. We did have one incident while admitted to the hospital. Gray was playing in the children’s wing playroom while receiving his chemo treatment and his tubing somehow got caught as he was walking and it snapped the line in two! Chemo was spilling all over the floor! I ran down to the nurses station to get help and when we came back not only chemo was leaking but blood was dripping onto the floor as well. I guess when the sudden pressure of the chemo being pushed into Gray’s body was interrupted by the break in the line that pressure reversed and so blood was coming out through the chemo line and spilling onto the floor. I was totally freaked out! The nursing staff had to sanitize EVERYTHING and reset Gray’s chemo bag. It was crazy! The only response from Gray, though, was a high pitched “Uh-Oh!!” as soon as he realized his line had broke! Ha! Since leaving the hospital Gray has had a really hard time sleeping, which of course means the whole family has had a hard time sleeping. Gray has began crying and screaming out in his sleep. He screams things like “No, Mama, No!” and when we try to comfort him he fights us. It’s not only scary for us but also heartbreaking. There’s nothing we can do. Please, please pray that Gray will be able to sleep better and that he will have peace during this time. He may only be three but he’s quite smart. Today, we were supposed to take Gray to clinic to have his blood levels checked post chemo but the entire process was a fight and so we rescheduled for tomorrow. Not only was it a struggle to get Gray dressed but when we attempted to put him into his car seat he put up such a strong fight that we eventually gave in. Sigh. We know he’s scared and we know he’s catching on to what is going on around him and so we just pray for peace in his tiny mind and body. It’s torture for him. It’s torture for us. We would also appreciate your prayers for us as a family. Please pray for endurance. It may sound awful to say but now that the “newness” of Gray’s diagnosis has kind of worn off all we are left with is cancer. At first, this entire process was a whirlwind of visitors, gifts, phone calls, well wishes, cards, doctor’s appointments, hospital stays, surgeries and a whole lot of learning about our new life. Now, though, that we have settled into a new routine and our life has resumed some form of normalness it’s almost as if the cancer weighs even heavier on our minds. We have more time to think. More time to wonder. Mentally this cancer, this new life, is taking its toll on us. At this point, I guess we don’t need or even want anything tangible. We really, truly need the things that only God can provide. We need strength, perseverance, hope and patience. While we have so greatly appreciated all the monetary donations and gifts and we welcome them in the future we simply need God to take over. We know in our minds that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength but now we just need to feel that in our souls. It’s such an easy verse to recite but so much more difficult to live out in the face of something like cancer. Thank you all so much for your continued support, thoughts and prayers. Even on the bad days we feel your prayers strengthening us and helping us through each day and even each minute and second.

“I need thee every hour most gracious Lord. No tender voice like thine can peace afford. I need thee, Oh I need thee. Every hour I need thee. Oh bless me now my saviour, I come to thee.”

14 Responses to “no rest for the weary”

  1. Linda Robins December 15, 2010 at 8:40 pm #

    Friends: I haven’t written to you, but please know that the students at SAGU have really taken Gray into their hearts and have been praying regularly. There hasn’t been a class period of mine that we haven’t lifted Gray and your family in prayer. I know that the prayer will not stop even though we are out of school for the holidays. When SAGU students pray God hears. We love you guys and are holding you before the Throne of God all the time.

    Linda

  2. Richard Girkin December 15, 2010 at 9:07 pm #

    Dear Ones,

    No one understands the daily stresses of cancer like the families affected by it. My father suffered with it for three years before God took him home. Now, my brother has stage 4 colon cancer. People say nice things that are helpful for a time, but only God can bring the peace, patience, and tenacity that is needed. Yes, God heals. Yes, God can do anything, yet the fatigue and the helplessness that the primary caregivers, the family, feel can only be helped by the touch of the Master’s hand. We love you and are praying for you and little Gray and we understand. God give this family rest in Jesus name. Amen

  3. Loralie December 15, 2010 at 9:38 pm #

    We are praying…for you. We love you.
    For His glory and for the Kingdom!
    His eye is on the Sparrow…His strength in you will rise!
    Romans 5:17 “For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much MORE will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.”

  4. Michelle December 15, 2010 at 10:00 pm #

    Praying for peace! Even Now Lord Jesus!!!

  5. Cady December 15, 2010 at 11:31 pm #

    “A Little boy named Gray”
    There is a little boy I know, he’s fighting so hard but he’s not low.
    He’s got a family that all love him so. And all us friends are praying for his health to grow.
    He greets each task with a smile so bright. He acts so brave, and puts up a great fight.
    This little boy is special, you see. He means the world to mommy and daddy.
    We pray for him to grow big and strong, and that all his illness will soon be gone.
    We thank you Lord that each new day your sun shines down on little Gray.
    By: Cady Mabry

    • Cindy Bennett December 16, 2010 at 11:06 am #

      Wow that is awesome

  6. Hartley December 16, 2010 at 12:31 am #

    I pray for Grayson everyday and will continue to do so until the day the Lord heals him! Me and my family even have group prayer for him from time to time. God please touch this family and help them to stay peaceful and hopeful! Heal baby Gray! Amen.

  7. Cheryl Patterson December 16, 2010 at 1:46 am #

    Praying for the peace that passes all understanding. (not only for Gray , but for all of his loved ones.) Also praying for strength and endurance for all. Knowing that there is only so much that we can do, I pray for courage, that you can give complete control to God. Praying that he will provide you with physical healing, emotional comfort, and supernatural strength to get you through every moment of every day. Praying for followers who will show up at the perfect time, with the perfect words or gifts or offers of support. May you continue to see the blessings of the day as you experience the trials at hand, knowing that God is always there and the he WILL get you through. Thank you Lord for this baby that is bringing so much joy to these parents and grandparents. Help us all to remember to pray for Gray.

  8. Cindy Bennett December 16, 2010 at 8:51 am #

    May the Prince of Peace cover you with His mercy, love, and grace in this season of the unknown. May He give Gray rest in His arms and a peace in his body and soul. My Christmas gift to your family is prayer and fasting for a wonderous outcome. You are my focus and will never cease to pray or care for you. Never think that you are alone. I have an angel encounter that I will share with you sometime. Christ who is the “Reason for the Season” is also our “Reason for Living”. Isaiah 9:6 “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called WONDERFUL, COUNSELOR, THE MIGHT GOD, THE EVERLASTING FATHER, THE PRINCE OF PEACE.” Dear heavenly Father may you take this child and hold him in his difficult time. I know that you love him, I know that you can take what Satan wanted for distruction and turn it into something beautiful. Give him peaceful rest each and every night. Hold this family, cover them with peace and help them through the unknown. Let them never feel alone, they have a huge family in you. I ask a special Christmas Blessing for them, bless them spiritually, mentally, physically, and monetarily. You alone are worthy of our praise and we adore you and we thank you. I pray these things in the name of our precious Jesus, Amen and Amen.

  9. Brooke December 16, 2010 at 9:40 am #

    Praying for you guys!

  10. Cheryl (Thorpe) Carter December 17, 2010 at 8:22 am #

    Hello – we are praying for your entire family and have our church praying as well. Every Sunday, several ask how Gray is doing so be comforted in knowing that many prayer warriors in Breckenridge, Texas are lifting your family and precious little man to God. Love to you guys – Cheryl & Scott

  11. Renee December 17, 2010 at 6:15 pm #

    So glad to see his little bright face smiling!
    But…I can feel from your words that you are getting totally exhausted. Psalms 55:22 says this: (NIV) Cast your cares (burdens) on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
    This is what I pray for you tonight…Sleep, sleep, and more RESTFUL sleep. For you, your husband, Seth and Gray! Angels are surrounding your home right now, as I pray for peace for all of you.
    I love your son(s), and so does God…

  12. Melanie Yetter December 23, 2010 at 3:41 pm #

    You don’t know us, but please know that you have many prayers coming your way. We pray for peace, comfort,strength for you and your family and that you can feel God’s arms wrapped around you at the hardest times. We will continue to pray for you. May God bless you with all He can give!

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