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find rest my soul

Gray is finishing his fifth round of chemo today. He has been in the hospital since Tuesday. This chemo treatment cannot be described in words…and not in a good way. Gray has been extremely sick throughout the treatment. The nurses have had to give him medicine to help with his nausea, which in turn makes Gray extremely tired. The entire week has made Gray irritable and, let’s just face it, downright cranky! We can’t blame him but that doesn’t change the fact that we not only have to care for our son who has cancer but add to that caring for a son who growls at you, hits you and screams every time a nurse enters the room. Sigh. BIG sigh. Needless to say, we are ready for this round of chemo to be over! During our hospital stay this week we have gotten a better sense of what our next few months will hold. After this round of chemo it is likely that Gray will be scheduled for surgery to remove as much of his tumor as possible. Please pray that not only will they be able to get ALL of the tumor but that they will also be able to remove the parts of the tumor that have attached to Gray’s aorta. As of now, the doctors are telling us that this portion of the tumor cannot be removed but we have full faith that God will work a miracle. We want our baby boy to be tumor free! After his surgery, Gray will go through another round of chemo followed by a bone marrow transplant. The transplant takes 30 days and he has to be admitted to the hospital for the entire procedure. Please remember us in prayer as we approach this transplant. Enduring one week in the hospital is enough to make our entire family, and especially, Gray tired, cranky and short tempered. Cancer is isolating enough as it is but a month in the hospital??? At this point, we can’t even begin to imagine it. We don’t even WANT to imagine it. We also received news that the trial Gray is in may mean he has to endure two bone marrow transplants, which would require two months in the hospital and not just one. That’s a bridge we’ll just have to cross if and when it comes. We thank you so much for your continued prayers, especially during the recent holiday season. We know that we were remembered even while you were with your families and celebrating with your friends! We could feel your constant thoughts! We are anxious, right now, to get home and to get Gray well. We hope and pray that he recovers quickly. We want to see him smile again! We are also anxious for Gray’s upcoming surgery. While we are a bit nervous, as you can imagine, we are also eager to get this tumor out of our little man and know that he his that much closer to being cancer free and completely well! We are still believing in a miracle…even on the hard days.

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God, he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”  Psalm 62: 5-8

23 Responses to “find rest my soul”

  1. Maria A January 7, 2011 at 10:14 am #

    We continue to pray for Gray and your family. We know the Great Physician has little Gray in His hands.

  2. Betty Ross January 7, 2011 at 10:19 am #

    We pray for rest & healing for Gray & his family & whole support system. We are praying for that miracle from God, to make Gray 100% cancer-free. God Bless you all.

  3. Amanda Neely January 7, 2011 at 10:28 am #

    My heart weeps with you. We are praying for baby Gray and your family. Believing in God’s healing hand.

  4. Becky Davis January 7, 2011 at 10:30 am #

    I am so so sorry that Gray is having a hard time with this round of chemo, cuz I know you guys are suffering 10 times as much. And being the parent of a toddler is hard enuf without having to deal with all of that! We’re praying for strength and wisdom for you all! I was bummed I didn’t get to see you all at DCamp but my prayers are always always with you. May the peace that passes understanding fill your hearts today and tomorrow and the day after that and…

    The Davis Family

  5. Liz Moon January 7, 2011 at 10:44 am #

    Jill & Doug, I am so glad that I read this latest update so I can be praying even more for you guys. I appreciate your transparency in writing all this down for all of us. It shows me what you are going through and I had no clue! It inspires me and I just want you to know that God is faithful!! Love you, Liz

  6. Lindsay Markert January 7, 2011 at 11:06 am #

    We just finished up our last round, and I know the feeling all too well of not only caring for your sweet baby…but also caring for the poor, tired, aggravated little boy that growls and screeches at anyone who even looks at him. It’s tough. Disciplining right now is brutal as I’m sure you know.
    A plus to their young age is that they don’t have the mental aspect of it. I have talked to parents of teenagers on our floor whose children have a lot of guilt and self-hatred…thinking that they did something to cause their disease.
    You HAVE to keep believing in miracles, especially on the hard days.

  7. Jennifer January 7, 2011 at 11:44 am #

    We’re praying for your family in your difficult fight. Miracles happen every day and I pray that you get yours. This horrible disease has hurt too many babies and too many families. I really can’t think of anything to say that will help, but I hope that you’re comforted in knowing that you have support.

  8. Renee January 7, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    I’m so happy he gets to go home today. Please post on here (or send a private e-mail) of what he would like. What would make him smile? A new movie? A new toy? My grandson loves “can-ee canes”. Would he like some of those? We need something tangible that we can do, buy, or bake that would “make his day”. Please know we are still praying, day and night. Prayer changes things….

  9. Salena Leatherwod January 7, 2011 at 2:00 pm #

    I am always praying for you guys! I am soo glad that I was able to spend some time with Jill and Gray at Dcamp…..I missed out on DYDoug and Seth! You are forever in my heart and ALWAYS in my prayers! Love you all! Miss ya TONS!!!

  10. Tracy Newlin Thomas January 7, 2011 at 2:16 pm #

    I do not know you lil man Gray, but I want you to know that your story is GREATLY touching my heart…I will be praying for you and your family that God will give you strength, comfort and peace to make it through all of these trials…I pray that it be Gods will for your precious lil body to be healed completely so that you may continue to grow and enjoy as others are blessed to do….I can’t even imagine what you all are going through at this time, but God picks those who are strong in nature, so I am believing you are one strong lil man….You are a beautiful child of God and I want you to know my love, support and prayers will be by your side…God Bless and Keep You in his loving care!!!

  11. Brooke Carruth January 7, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    We are All praying for Grayson & Your Family. Every morning & every night. We are standing in FAITH with YOU!! Trusting & Believing Our God is Mighty to save!! <3
    Ps. Jill, I was thinking about the first time I saw you at our church you were on stage singing "Hosanna". My spirit was so blessed by the Holy Spirit's anointing on You that day. I heard that song again & I am praying for You!! He Hears us & He Saves! :)

  12. Vida Jones January 7, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    I have never met you, but I have kept up with Gray’s story through my precious friend, Nancy Miguez. My heart goes out to Gray for all his suffering, and also to you – his family. I will hold your family up in prayer! No miracle is to big for God and His arm is not short. Find rest in Him during this time as He is faithful! God bless you all.

  13. Dee Woodward (Coweta, OK) January 7, 2011 at 6:48 pm #

    I just read the story of your sweet darling little boy. It breaks my heart to hear about him as I have a 3 yr. old grandson and cannot imagine the heartache you are induring. We know God doesn’t give us more than we can bear and I will be praying for his arms to be around you and your son and for a complete healing for this child of God.

  14. Denise Horinek January 7, 2011 at 9:42 pm #

    Our family continues to lift you all up! Chris and I were talking the other night how we couldn’t imagine living with and through that with it continually in your life. I was thinking how overwhelming that would be. But then I remembered that God is with you and our job is to pray and lift you all up so you won’t be overwhelmed and you continue to see God’s hand and strength with you! We pray each night for God’s hand and miracle for you!

  15. Louann January 7, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

    A month in the hospital is quite trying on all members; however, visits from family and friends, prayers that wrap around your soul, and the kindness of the hospital staff make the stay bearable. I am praying with you for God’s miraculous touch through the blood of Jesus. Love you guys!

  16. Erika Reddick January 7, 2011 at 11:02 pm #

    Praying daily for you…praying for healing, strength, and peace! I pray that you continually feel God’s hand upholding little Grayson, Seth, and both of you!

  17. Dee Ann dodson January 8, 2011 at 4:49 am #

    will pray for your son and your family.

  18. Melvina Helberg January 8, 2011 at 7:56 am #

    My heart is so heavy for you guys, we are lifting you up in prayer, believing God for a complete miracle for Grayson, every whit whole in Jesus name. Love and hugs to you all!

  19. Shari January 8, 2011 at 2:16 pm #

    We are praying, and continue to pray. Our girls, Laura, Jennifer and SaVannah enjoyed getting to meet Gray at Dcamp. We appreciate the investment you continue to make in the lives of youth as you walk this journey. We pray for Gray’s healing and the removal of the tumor to be complete. We pray for your family, the medical staff, for all those who you come in contact with during this time. Between this site and facebook we check to see what the specific current prayer needs are and include those as we “stand in the gap…and make up the hedge”. Interceding with the power of the Holy Spirit who knows how to pray when we don’t. May you see evidence in Gray as his body responds to the medical intervention and his spirit be calmed physically and emotionally. Wade & Shari Farmer BA, OK.

  20. Cindy Bennett January 8, 2011 at 7:09 pm #

    I sat down last night to send a few words, but there were none. I wrote a note this morning and it was all deleted as I tried to send it. Third time must be a charm. I was thinking this morning about what a blessing you have been to The Bridge. You have dedicated your lives to God’s work and I want to thank you. You are making a difference to the youth in our wonderful state. You have been on my heart this whole week and many prayers were prayed. Father, you alone know the needs of this family. At times even Doug and Jill do not know what to pray for. I ask that you give them wisdom, direction, peace, rest, and hope. I ask that you cover this entire family with the precious blood of your Son. Give the doctors divine direction, give Grayson caring and sensitive nurses, give Seth a special portion of peace and hope. Father give this family favor where ever they go and for whatever Grayson may need. Let them feel the love of your people and the prayers of warriors. I ask these things in the name of Jesus. In your isolation, please know that you are not alone. “Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities:for we know not what we should pray for as we ought:but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

  21. Mark & Susie Purkey January 9, 2011 at 8:52 am #

    Doug & Jill, it’s been a while since we’ve left an encouraging msg but we want you to know that we have NEVER STOPPED PRAYING! This trial WILL pass. 2011 WILL be a good year for you all. “yet a little while, and He who tarries, will come”. We will be praying for Favor as Gray faces surgery of the tumor, praying they will remove it all! Mark’s tumor’s were cluster’ed around his heart and lungs, so badly that they were going to have to do a radical maneuver, breaking all of his ribs, but when they went in, THERE WAS NOTHING THERE!!! Praise God! He was 19 years old. His Godly family and Church body were praying…and God heard their cry. He loves your Gray, just as much!!! He’s I’m control!!!
    Don’t loose your faith in an All Powerful, Healing God! We are standing with you! Believing that they’ll be able to remove ALL OF THE TUMOR and the parts they don’t think they can remove, (next to the Aorta), we’re asking the Great Physician to remove those! Our faith is strong, be encouraged, Doug and Jill. You are tired and feel drained but in God’s family, we can come along side one another and link shields! That’s what we’re all doing for you. You feel alone and isolated but you’re not!!! We ARE the family! Much, much love, Mark and Susie Purkey

  22. Mark and Susie Purkey January 9, 2011 at 9:27 am #

    I’ve had this msg. all typed out and twice now and it has mysteriously disappeared…is something trying to prevent this encouraging msg. to get through to you? Here’s try 3

    Doug and Jill, it’s been a while since we’ve written to leave you an encouraging msg. but we have NEVER stopped praying for you all! We just wanted you to know, that as Gray’s upcoming surgery approaches, to remove the tumor, we are believing God for FAVOR. You said in your last post, that they don’t feel they can “remove it all (aorta)”. Can we just remind you, that Mark’s cancerous tumors were clustered, in and around, the heart and lungs. They told him they didn’t feel that they could “get it all” but would try. Their approach? To break all of his ribs in two, to get in. He was 19 years old. However, when they opened him, and did the scopy one last time, there was NOTHING THERE. NO TUMORS, ONLY SCAR TISSUE, WHERE ONE USED TO BE! Still amazing, Praise God! We know that God loves Gray just as much. He loves us all THE SAME. We are praying, that they WILL be able to remove all the tumor and if there are parts they can’t remove…we are asking the Great Physician to remove those!
    We know you feel isolated and tired and sometimes weak. That’s OK, in the Family of God, we are coming along side you and linking our shields of faith with yours. We’re strong! Our faith in God is Strong! We’re not tired, that’s what Family does! We believe 2011 will be a wonderful year of blessing for your entire family. “Yet a little while…” Be encouraged dear friends, you are NOT alone, in the battle. Love, Mark & Susie


  1. greg - July 27, 2014

    confessionals@awry.churchly” rel=”nofollow”>.…

    tnx for info….

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