October 26, 2010 in Uncategorized with 6 Comments

Not gonna lie…today wasn’t so great. Gray did just fine receiving his chemo treatment and we are excited to report that, so far, Gray has not had any more side effects from his chemo. No nausea, no sickness, no nothing! In fact, if you just looked at Grayson, besides for the fact that he’s bald, you’d never know he was sick! And we often think that Gray views himself as healthy too! He’s so young that he doesn’t understand that he’s “supposed” to feel sick and so when he feels good he acts good! He’s still just a two year old boy who can laugh, play and be in a good mood. It’s nice to see him that way. On the other hand, most of our day was consumed with huge medical words, treatment plans, meetings with doctors and the realization all over again that, in fact, our baby boy really does have cancer. Although it’s never far from our minds the sheer realization of what a cancer diagnosis means for Grayson and our entire family can at times hit us all over again like a ton of bricks. It suddenly weighs on you, heavy, just like it did the first day we heard the word cancer. We have our ups and downs both emotionally, physically and spiritually and today was most definitely a down. While, for Gray, the day was as normal as his new days can be we, as his parents, on the other hand met with a transplant specialist. This new doctor laid out for us Gray’s treatment plan for possibly the next year. It wasn’t easy to hear. After Gray finishes this current round of chemo we will resume giving Grayson shots to recoupe his white blood cell count followed by even more shots to boost his counts more. When his counts reach a certain level Grayson will then be admitted to the hospital for a 3 to 4 day stay when doctors will harvest his bone marrow. We are expecting this to take place sometime in early to mid November. Harvesting bone marrow, although we’re told isn’t painful, sounds like an awful process. Gray will most likely have to be kept in a sedated state for his entire hospital stay as the extraction of bone marrow takes several days and during that time he cannot move AT ALL. We know it has to be done but, obviously, we’re not looking forward to it. After his bone marrow is harvested we will resume Gray’s chemo treatments as scheduled. The treatment plan for the next several months and even into the next year was laid out for us, tentatively. At this time, we would like to keep that to ourselves. It’s so much information and so overwhelming that even we haven’t quite processed it all. Thank you for understanding. We covet and appreciate all your prayers more then you could ever know! At this time, please agree with us that Gray will continue not to experience any new side effects from his chemo treatments. While we know he is sick, and seeing his bald head reminds each day of the brave fight he is fighting, it truly is nice to see Grayson be a normal 2-year-old boy when he’s up to it! We would hate for him to get sick on top of everything else. Also, please pray for us as Grayson’s parents. We really need wisdom and rest. We need to be able to communicate with Grayson’s doctors and nurses and understand what they are telling us. We want what is best for our little man but at times feel so lost in the jumble of doctor jargon. It can be isolating. If you would also pray for our family to find balance between our hospital life and our home life. I’m sure you’ve heard it said that “when one person has cancer the entire family has cancer” and that has never rung more true for us then it does right now. As we sat and listened to Grayson’s treatment plan for the next year it seemed so overwhelmingly daunting that our minds couldn’t even go there. Long gone are the days of counting down to a holiday that’s just around the corner or making big plans for a birthday party or even a family vacation. We are bound to the needs of Grayson and to what tomorrow may or may not hold for him. We’re eager to see Gray well but we don’t want to lose our family through the process. While today was exhausting and we’re still processing all the information we were given, and making lists of questions for our next visit, we wanted to share a smile with you all, while reminding ourselves to smile at the same time! Gray thankfully has been eating really well! We’re so thankful! He even finished a happy meal over the weekend! Beleive it or not that’s an accomplishment to be celebrated! Here is a picture worth way more then a thousand words! Hope it makes you smile as much as it does us!

“Sometimes it’s hard to hear your voice my God. Is the reason that you’re whispering because…you’re one step away?”  -Jason Upton