March 25, 2011 in Uncategorized with 21 Comments

Gray has been in the hospital for his stem cell transplant for five days. The transplant happens in phases. The first week, which is nearly complete, consists of 24-hour chemo treatments. Gray has been receiving chemo now for five straight days. We were shocked to find out that those were his orders. We had no idea that the chemo would be quite that intense. The second phase of the transplant will happen next week and that’s when they actually perform the transfusion. Finally, after the transplant Gray will be in recovery for the final 2 weeks of his admission. As of now, Gray has not been sick at all from his treatment. Praise the Lord! We truly are grateful for that. And even though the doctors have informed us that this is pretty normal and they generally don’t expect children receiving a stem cell transplant to begin showing signs of sickness or other side effects until the seventh day we are still very grateful to have made it nearly an entire week without Gray getting physically sick. The one side effect that has shown itself this week is that Gray has stopped eating. We began to notice signs of his appetite loss early in the week. Even as early as Tuesday evening we saw him refusing food. That night we had even brought him a special treat, his favorite food in the whole world, shredded cheese! He was excited when he saw the package but after just one bite he pushed the bowl away. We weren’t sure why until he said “It doesn’t taste…” Chemo has a tendency to do that. It can change the way you taste and so either foods won’t taste at all or won’t taste the way you remember. Now, several days in Gray isn’t eating anything. The nurses have told us that if Gray doesn’t begin to eat something over the weekend they will have to begin supplementing his diet through his IV. We were told this would probably happen. Tonight, we are simply doing our best to feel settled in our “second home” for the month and care for our little man. The section of the hospital we are in during this treatment is completely cut off from the rest of the hospital. You even have to have a special key pad code to get through the locked doors leading back to our room. There are also tons of new rules surrounding Gray’s stem cell transplant. He is still not aloud to have fresh fruit and now they’ve added pepper to the list of banned foods! Apparently, both could possibly carry live cultures or bacteria that Gray cannot come in contact with. Gray also cannot have tap water. We even have to sponge bathe him, in his bed, with individually packaged pre-soap filled sponges. We have to change his bedding every single day. We also have to brush his teeth every two hours with two different liquids and disposable tooth brushes that are really more  like soft sponges then any toothbrush we’ve ever seen. We don’t really use toothpaste but instead two different liquids that help prevent and treat the mouth sores that we’ve pretty much been told will happen at some point during his transplant. This is definitely a time where you can’t think too far into the future. Our days are broken up into two hour tooth brushing intervals and nurse check-ups. We live diaper change to diaper change and sponge bath to sponge bath. If we allow ourselves to think about the fact that this is our life for the next 30 days it’s enough to make you sad, and mad. We’re locked away in a secluded wing of the hospital with no choice but to press on. It’s overwhelming but somehow, some way it has to be worth it. It just has to be. The hospital rules state that no one under the age of ten can visit a stem cell transplant patient and while we’re sure that they probably make concessions for immediate family members we’re grateful that our oldest son, Seth, is eleven and more then welcome to visit his little brother. Last night he got to come up and see Gray for the first time in a week and they’re reunion was very sweet! They love each other very much! It’s enough to make a mommy’s heart melt!

There’s not too much to do in the hospital but think and lately I’ve thought alot about what a difference a year makes. Sure that phrase can be used to describe overwhelming blessings but it can also be used to describe unimaginable heartache. Never, ever would we have thought our own family would be fighting this fight. As youth pastors, we’ve sat with other families dealing with sickness and loss but it’s just one of those things that you feel immune too. We all feel that way. You never find yourself wondering  if you yourself or, even worse, one of your children will be diagnosed with something as tragic as cancer. Stage 4 cancer. For whatever reason, though, we have been asked to walk this road and we’re doing our best to put one foot in front of the other day after day. We would be lying if we said that we are strong all the time or feel blessed to walk this road as a family…it’s simply not true. Sure, there are days when our faith is strong and we can see the sun peeking through the clouds but honestly there are days when the rain is falling, the flood waters are rising and we’re not sure if we’ll sink or swim. Whatever our emotions or physical state, though, we cling to our family and we cling to your prayers. Thank you for standing with us and thank you for your constant love and support. We ask today that you pray for the upcoming week. The doctors have told us that Gray’s true symptoms from the stem cell transplant will probably begin to kick in on or around Monday and we want to be prepared. Of course, we’re praying for minimal side effects but we also want to pray for strength and wisdom as we care for Gray and simply as we deal  with the day to day of cancer and all the violent sickness that comes along with it. We also ask for prayer for our oldest son Seth. He is approaching the end of his 5th grade year in school and has several projects to complete. With one of us constantly in the hospital with Gray we just want to be sure that “there’s enough of us to go around” so to speak. It’s a balancing act to say the least. This week we did receive some very good news! The bone marrow biopsy that they performed on Monday came back with wonderful results! Gray’s bone marrow is still testing negative for any cancer! That news was our bright spot this week! It’s a great reminder that God is good and, yes, He has a plan! Thank you for your continued prayers!

To end this post on a positive note, in the first picture we posted Gray is actually up out of bed walking his IV machine around and around doing his best to make his bed!! Yes, you heard me right, he’s making his bed!! I guess if your three-year-old son who is battling cancer and 24-hour chemo treatments has the strength to get up and make his bed the rest of us have no excuse whatsoever! Ha!

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53: 5