Grayson Paul Everaard

October 10, 2010 in Uncategorized with 6 Comments

Mom was able to get out of the house this morning and go to church!! It may seem like such a small luxury but when you haven’t been able to attend in so long it truly was a luxury in and of itself!! Just to have time to worship and simply breathe (not to mention a chance to cure the ever growing cabin fever!) was something we were so grateful for!! Tomorrow reality comes back with another visit to the doctor. Gray has his white blood cell counts tested again in the morning so please be praying that those results will come back much higher. Also pray for good red blood cell and platelet counts as well. We will keep you all updated on what we find out. Even though our “new normal” isn’t something we’re totally used to yet, life is going on at the Everaard house. Between school, work, doctor’s appointments, meals and even the everyday chores like laundry and dusting we are resuming some form of family home life routine. Sometimes I think it’s the mundane things that keep us sane.

We wanted to share a couple silly candid shots with you today!! It sounds crazy but Gray got excited when he saw all of the “goodies” that we brought home for him today!! What was his surprise? Antibacterial wipes, cotton balls and hand sanitizer!! Oh the things that make you happy when you’re two!! There’s no denying the joy in those eyes though…

Gray actually took this picture of his big brother, Seth, doing homework! He’s quite the budding photographer!

And last but not least, Gray and mom couldn’t resist being silly together!!

“Heroes tremble in Your presence, Kings forget their crowns, Mountains shudder at Your whisper, Nations fall face down, And Your people sing…Jesus is the Lord, Who reigns forevermore, Jesus is the Lord, He reigns, He reigns…”  -Michael Gungor

October 9, 2010 in Uncategorized with 8 Comments

Grayson was a very happy boy today! He played hard, laughed hard and just overall acted very much like himself! He and his big brother, Seth, even tried standing on their heads on the sofa! Gray so wanted to be able to do it just like his brother! It’s truly amazing how something like cancer frees you to enjoy things you wouldn’t otherwise have even let your kids do! Not only does cancer completely take over your emotions and your physical strength but it also totally shifts your priorities. It’s so much easier at this point to enjoy the mini moments throughout our day. We’re truly making memories every single second. We’re making memories that we wouldn’t have had had we not been tasked with walking down this road together. We are still having both good days and bad days, though. On a good day we feel so completely humbled and honored to be the parents of a little guy, who simply by living his life and without even knowing it, is impacting thousands! But on the harder days we just want our son to be healed and live a normal life. There’s nothing easy about having a child with cancer. Nothing! But we know, we truly know, that God is working. He’s doing something. We may not see it now and we may not know what it is he’s up to, we may never know, but the fact remains…he’s up to something. We know he’s using our brave little Grayson to touch the lives of so many around the world. He’s uniting so many christians, from many different faiths, in prayer. And no matter what our journey has in store for us we know that God is walking not only with us but a step ahead of us. He’s preparing the way and plotting out our steps before we even have to take them. Pastor Robby McClure once said “God is always up to something so give Him your full attention” and that offers some comfort. He truly is “up to something” and we have faith that that “something” is what’s best for Gray and what’s best for our family. Again, we want to say a huge thank you to you all for visiting Gray’s website, sharing his story and continuing to pray for him. The response on twitter, facebook and pray4gray has been overwhelming and a bit crazy! We hope that through our day-to-day you not only keep up with our story but also learn something to apply to your own life. A friend told me today that she has already learned alot about priorities by all Gray and our family are going through. She isn’t sweating the small stuff as much and is learning to laugh when she might otherwise rip her hair out! If nothing else, learn not to make mountains out of mole hills. You really never know what tomorrow holds. Enjoy every moment! We ask today that you continue to pray for rest and health. Gray slept better last night but is still very wrestless and agitated in his sleep so whoever is sleeping with him usually doesn’t get much rest, mainly mom. We also ask that you please pray for health for not only Gray but every other member of our family. With Gray’s white blood cell count so low we have had the sudden realization that if any of us get sick we have to leave. We wouldn’t be able to stay at home or spend time with the family. That’s obviously not what we want. Thank you so much for remembering us today and everyday. It means more then you can imagine.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important then food, and the body more important then clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  -Matthew 6:25-27,  33-34

October 8, 2010 in Uncategorized with 6 Comments

Over the past couple days we have noticed that Gray is becoming quite cranky and upset. The nurses at the hospital told us that chemo has a tendency to do that. Also, the daily shots that we have to give Gray make him achy, which I can only imagine adds to his crankiness. Gray also, unfortunately, has started having night terrors. Night terrors are pretty normal for a child Gray’s age but the chemo and stress of his life right now is making them much worse then a normal child’s would be. It definitely makes for long nights and pretty much NO sleep.  The night terrors are violent and difficult to get through. Last night we were up at 2AM. Today, we made our first visit back to the hospital for blood tests to check where Gray’s white blood cell levels are. It wasn’t good news. Cancer patients become susceptible to infection when the count is below 500 and when Gray’s results came in his white blood cell count was 22. Needless to say, Gray has almost lost all ability to fight infection and so won’t be able to be around others. Things are pretty stressful right now. We’re all in desperate need of sleep and nervous about keeping Gray away from any and all germs. Please pray that Gray’s night terrors will subside and that our entire family will be able to sleep through the night and wake refreshed. We need all the energy we can muster just to take care of Gray’s needs each day. Please also pray for peace. The stress and anxiety of our “new normal” is overwhelming. Gray did enjoy, however, playing in the hospital play room this morning. He’s still just a kid! And for that we’re grateful!

“When I think I’m going under, part the waters Lord. When I feel the waves around me part the sea. When I cry for help, Oh hear me Lord and hold out your hand. Touch my life, still the raging storm in me.”  -Selah

October 6, 2010 in Uncategorized with 12 Comments

As you can see, Gray was beyond happy to be back home! He was excited to see all his toys and to be in a familiar place. As we sat in bed, though, watching him do karaoke and laugh and smile it struck me that “THIS doesn’t look like Stage 4 cancer…” It’s still hard to comprehend what is going on in little Grayson’s body. It still escapes our minds for brief moments only to come crashing back in a wave. I’m thankful for the light moments but reality is always in the back of your mind. We have days of strength and we have days that we constantly wrestle with questions and worry but we are still fully trusting for a complete healing from God!

“I was told when I was young that one day soon I’m gonna see you. I’d take a train far from this place and all the pain will be over. My God how I long to see you now. And something in my heart tells me somehow…you’re one step away. A distant sound is hard to hear. Even a sound as loud as thunder. A distant heart is full of fear. A distant soul has lost its wonder. Sometimes it’s hard to hear your voice my God. Is the reason that you’re whispering because you’re one step away?” -Jason Upton

October 6, 2010 in Uncategorized with 8 Comments

This morning Nurse Jennifer came over to the house and showed us how to give Gray his daily shot of Neupogen. This medicine will help keep Gray’s white blood cell count stay in check. The shots cost over $2,500.00 for four weeks worth of dosage! Thank goodness for insurance to help defray at least some of the cost! It was more then wonderful to wake up at home today. Just to be together as a family. The night wasn’t easy, though. Gray won’t sleep in his own  bed and so he ended up sleeping in the rocking recliner with mom. Obviously, that means not too much restful sleep for either of them. In fact, Gray spent the entire night reaching up, in his sleep, and hitting his mama in the face waking her up each time. We’re not sure if he was dreaming or just taking out aggression but either way it was a long  night in the recliner. It has been beyond wonderful, however, to be back in our own space! After one full day at home, we ask for your continued prayer in a few specific areas. One, obviously, is please pray for more rest and pray that Gray will get used to his own bed again and feel safe and comfortable in his own room. We also ask that you pray for wisdom for our family. There are so many decisions to be made and we want to make sure we’re doing the right thing with each one. We  also need confidence to use the tools the doctors and nurses have given us to help care for Grayson at home. We have to give him a shot each day among other things and it’s definitely going to take some getting used to. We want to make our baby better but it’s still difficult to see him through the process. Again, we want to say a HUGE thank you to you all for your continued support, love and prayers. It’s means more  to us then you’ll ever know. It’s humbling to think of the thousands of people remembering Grayson each day. We love you all!

What a perfect way to end the day. So calm. Gray is enjoying the beautiful weather, and enjoying the moment…

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.”  -Psalm 46:1-3

October 5, 2010 in Uncategorized with 6 Comments

GRAYSON IS HOME!!!! For the first time in over a week Gray gets to spend the night in his own home with his whole family! Everyone is excited! The whole family needs rest and it’ll feel so good to be all together again! We appreciate all the prayers you have sent our way! We can feel them daily! We do ask that during this transition from hospital to home that we be allowed some privacy as a family. We know that you all are thinking of and praying for us. Please allow us some down time and give us a chance to breathe. Gray’s “at home” schedule will remain pretty hectic. He has five perscriptions and we have to give him a shot daily. He also has to return to the hospital twice a week for blood tests to monitor his white and red blood cell counts…not to mention the chemo treatments. We also have to watch Gray closely and keep him as protected as possible from anyone who is sick and may compromise his immune system. On that note, we found out today that Gray cannot be exposed to either fresh flowers or fresh fruit. I never would have thought that those things, but particularly fresh fruit, could be harmful to him but apparently there are chemicals on both that could make him sick. Thanks for your help in this area. We not only want to thank everyone for their daily prayers but we also want to say a HUGE thank you to all the children across the state of Oklahoma who have sent, and continue to send, handwritten cards to Grayson! We read every single one of them! They were plastered on nearly every single wall of his hospital room and now they will all go home with us! Please continue to pray for Gray’s appetite to increase and for all of us to get some rest. Doug has been able to go back to work some but we still need prayer that our lives will return to some form of normalcy.

“If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.”  -Psalm 37:23-24

October 5, 2010 in Uncategorized with 7 Comments

Our first week in the hospital, from surgery to diagnosis to finally today, has been a journey in and of itself. It’s something we couldn’t have ever imagined our family would walk through nor would we have ever asked to. It’s not something we would wish on anyone else and yet here we are. This week brought desperation, anxiety, fear, many tears, a reordering of priorities and also fresh faith. It’s not only been a “fight against cancer” journey but also an emotional and physical journey for us all. If there’s one thing that any of us can learn through this, though, whether you have sat with Gray in the hospital or simply read his story on this website it’s that in the midst of tragedy, in the midst of fear and even in the midst of your worst nightmare there is still LIVING to be done! There are still smiles to enjoy, laughs to be shared and memories to be made! Gray, with the innocent faith of a child, hasn’t hidden under a blanket feeling sorry for himself. Instead, he, going through many grown-ups worst fear in life, is making US laugh and reminding us that life is still here! He is still here! It’s not time to mope and be angry (although there is a place for that!) but instead it’s time to love those closest to you a bit more, hug your kids a bit harder, make a memory last a bit longer and just give yourself and your loved ones the one thing that can’t ever be taken away and that you can’t ever get back…time! Please look at these pictures from the past week and pray over Gray, remember times you’ve shared with him and even shed a tear but then learn from him! Live! Laugh! Love! Don’t take a single moment for granted!

“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, Where is your God? Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet priase him, my savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls: all your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me –  a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God my Rock, Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy? My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, Where is your God? Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and My God.”  -Psalm 42

October 4, 2010 in Uncategorized with 16 Comments

Gray conquered his fourth day of chemo in a row! We’re very proud of him! He acted alot like his “old self” this morning! No complaints for that! In these pictures, you can see Grayson trying to give one of his stuffed friends some of his IV medicine! He just wants to share! Gray did have to have two bone scans this afternoon, though. He did fine on the first one but freaked out a bit during the second one. I can’t say I blame him. We were excited to find out, today, that Gray will be released from the hospital tomorrow evening after he completes one more chemo treatment followed by some IV fluids!!!! Thank you all for praying that we would get to go home. So ready for some family time! We are a bit nervous about taking our baby boy home, though. We had to meet with the doctor today and go over a bunch of procedures before we can care for Gray on our own. I know we will be able to do it but it’s definitely going to take some getting used to. Just trying to keep Grayson germ free while his immune system is low and making sure we care for him correctly. It’s alot to handle. We’re ready for a bit of normalcy though. Please continue to pray that the transition from hospital to home will be an easy one and that we won’t be too anxious about Gray’s care. Our family needs to be back together. We know we’re standing at the beginning of our journey through cancer treatment but we’re ready to fall back into some form of a routine.

Today, Gray enjoyed an Elmo Cookie with his Noni! It was a gift from the Pilcher’s…

He also gave his friend Becky a ride down the hallway!

And Gray received some Lincoln Logs from Kara! Thanks Karaboo! Here…he is throwing them…

We all had a very busy and energetic day! Gray had alot of visitors and it was good for all of us to see him up and wanting to move. The love we are feeling from all our friends, family and even those of you around the world that we’ve never met has truly been a source of strength for our family. We couldn’t be more blessed to have so many people thinking of and praying for us at all times. Our days may be a roller coaster of emotions at times and we currently try our best to live in the moment but we’re still hanging onto our faith through all of this and believing with each of you for a miracle! Thank you for loving our family so much.

October 3, 2010 in Uncategorized with 23 Comments

Gray did quite well today! He had his third round of chemo. He was even able to get out of bed, again today, and play for a bit! We truly appreciate all the prayers being sent our way. There are a few specific requests that we would ask you to remember at this time. Doug is struggling with going back to work. Please pray that the timing will be right and that we won’t become too stressed out. Grayson also needs to eat more. His appetite hasn’t been normal for quite awhile and we really need him to eat so that he can get some strength back and feel better. One last request for today. Please pray that Gray will be released and allowed to go home this week. Our family is more then eager to spend a night at home together and have some sense of normalcy in our day to day life. It’ll be great to have some down time, some quiet time and just be able to feel comfortable and spend quality time together as a family again. It’s hard to be separated. We do want to send out a huge thank you to the Guthrie’s who brought by a variety of BibleMan action figures and costume accessories! As you can see, Gray loves his BibleMan mask and wore it today! There WAS at least one bright spot in today. Seth and mom were able to get out of the hospital and have a “date night” out to dinner. Seth said he was “thrilled that they got to spend time together”!! He’s so grown up!! Seth is Gray’s older brother. He is 10 years old and in the 5th grade. He is ready for his brother to come home from the hospital and, obviously, ready for more time with mom and dad! Please also continue to pray for Seth during this time. Pray he has strength, understanding, patience and peace. It’s hard to comprehend all of this at 10.

It truly has been overwhelming to see the response we have received on twitter, facebook and pray4gray. God is so good! It’s hard to imagine, at times, that there are literally thousands of people all around the world praying for Gray and for our family. We know God is doing a work in Gray and also in each of our lives!

“As children of God, we live by promise…not by explanation.”  -Pastor McNabb

October 2, 2010 in Uncategorized with 10 Comments

This morning has had both its ups and downs. Gray didn’t sleep very well last night and so, in turn, none of us had a good night’s rest. Gray sweat alot throughout the night and wasn’t able to get comfortable. Please pray for some good restful sleep for all of us. Gray had his second round of chemo this morning. We also found out today that Gray’s hemoglobin count is low and so he will have to have a blood transfusion. So far, though, Gray has been in a good mood and pretty happy! He is perfectly content to sit on the floor in his hospital room and play with toys! We also got to see his ever so cute smile today! Thank you all for the overwhelming support on twitter and facebook! We also thank you for passing the word about Gray and directing others to this site! We covet every prayer you can offer whether you know us personally or not! We will keep you posted on today’s blood transfusion and Gray’s ability to rest. Thanks again to you all!

“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  Psalm 34:17-18