June 28, 2011 in Uncategorized with 14 Comments

Gray was admitted to the hospital on Sunday to begin his final round of treatments. Over the next six months, Gray will receive proton therapy treatments. These treatments will not cause Gray to lose his hair again but they do come with a variety of other side effects including severe physical pain. Gray began the treatment Monday morning and will receive the first therapy treatment for four days. Hopefully we will be released on Friday. So far, Gray is tolerating the treatment pretty good. He has not had an allergic reaction to the concoction of medicines being put into his body, which is a good thing as that can be very serious, but unfortunately he is experiencing alot of pain. He is very drugged up and sleeps most of the day but we do have to press the button on his morphine drip approximately every 15 minutes just to keep him comfortable and give him some sort of relief from all the pain. While he is sleeping, he often wakes enough to cry and whine letting us know that he is in pain. One of the hardest parts of beginning this proton therapy is just watching our little boy go from full of life and energy (and awnriness!) at camp for the past month and then seeing him immediately turn into a sick and tired boy who can’t get out of bed. It tears our heart out to see the immediate change. We know that this treatment is necessary and, in the end, will only help keep Gray’s cancer and tumors from growing or returning but the very fact that Gray seemed so “normal” and his usual self only days ago and now seeing him sick and in so much pain is hard to handle. It’s hard not to sit in this hospital room and just feel sad and helpless. If you would, please pray for strength, peace and rest for Gray and our entire family. Gray is still young enough that he doesn’t understand fully what is happening to him but unfortunately we do! Please pray that we will all see this treatment for what it will be in completion and not what it is doing right  now. We also need REST! Coming out of camp and going straight into such a heavy treatment is both mentally and physically exhausting. We also ask for all the prayers you can offer, that Gray will continue to tolerate the antibodies and not show any signs of an allergic reaction. In some cases, when patients suffer an allergic reaction to this treatment it causes them to go into anaphylatic shock, which can be fatal. We know that the doctors are required to tell us all the possible horrible side effects but simply knowing this and then having to sit in this room and watch our baby boy, wondering if and when he may take a turn for the worse is enough to deprive you of sleep and a clear mind. The anxiety level is almost unbearable.

Gray has returned to his usual “uniform” of comfortable PJ’s and although his appetite still isn’t great we are happy when he eats (or licks!) anything! Here he is licking the cream cheese off his bagel! We truly thank all of you for your constant prayers and wonderful well wishes. It lifts our spirits to know that so many are thinking of us and praying for our little boy on a daily basis. We love each and every one of you.

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident.” Psalm 27:1, 3